(to have better conversations)
It's a process of listening to other people without judging, criticizing or interrupting, while also being conscious of the thoughts & responses that may obstruct others from speaking successfully with you.
To become a good listener, you must first define a clear goal. Take some deep breaths, relax your body, and be aware of when your mind is wandering. It is very similar to meditating and reconnecting with your breath.
Start by making a commitment to becoming a good listener. While listening to the other person, let your own thoughts go in one ear and out the other. Don't plan in advance what you want to say. Listen first, respond later.
Actually be intent on listening to what someone is trying to say without passing judgment or formulating your response in advance. Take it all in, really listen and seek to understand, and respond accordingly.
Don't be afraid of pauses or lulls in conversation. It shows that you are being thoughtful and not trying to predict what it is the other person is trying to say.
It’s a process and something that requires practice so you need to prepare yourself and make a long-term commitment. You might have to put in conscious effort in the beginning. It will eventually become a habit and a part of who you are.