What do you picture when you hear the word “class”?
If a man is described as “classy,” what would he look like in your mind’s eye?
Most of the time, gentlemen with slicked back hair and thousand-dollar suits from old Hollywood movies come to mind. But what makes those men so classy?
Class is all about poise. It’s the way you hold yourself and treat others that determines whether or not you have class, and whether or not you have class ultimately determines the way women will feel about you.
Do you want to captivate that woman you’ve had your eye on? Do you want to sweep her off her feet and impress her with your elegant charm? Well, these days, it all starts with a few well-planned texts.
10 Pro Tips on Flirting with a Girl Over Text (with class)
If you’d rather listen to this article, I’ve got the audio equivalent below.
Subscribe to The Gentleman Within Podcast.
Follow these 10 pro tips to keep your text conversations calm, cool, and classy. You’ll be on your way to winning her heart in no time.
1. Confidence is Key
This is a no-brainer! Confidence is always key in romantic relationships. You could have a face that only a mother could love, but with top-notch confidence in your tool belt, women will find you ridiculously attractive.
In the world of text flirting, the opposite of confidence is desperation. When texting an amazing woman, it’s tempting to put everything on the table. After-all, texting someone you really like is super exciting. It can be hard to remember that you need to set boundaries for yourself, or else you risk scaring her away.
To show off your confidence through texts, just act naturally. Text her as if you were talking to her face-to-face. Joke around with her to lighten the mood, ask her thoughtful questions, and don’t be afraid to tell her a few things about yourself if the opportunity arises.
Texting gives you the opportunity to think before you “speak.” Use the time to your advantage. Put your best foot forward, and don’t look back!
» Related: You might like this guide on how to know if a girl is leading you on.
2. Display Your Intelligence with Well-Planned Texts!
Women love intelligent men. Luckily, it’s easy to show off your intellect through text.
While it’s great to talk to her about your hobbies, skills, abilities, and passions, being intelligent also means that you’re a good listener. So, when she tells you something about herself, make sure you remember it. You can always make a callback to something she mentioned about herself earlier to let her know that you’re picking up everything she’s putting down.
More obvious ways to show your intelligence through text is to text with purpose. In other words, don’t send texts without meaning! Ask a question, reveal something new about yourself, make her laugh, etc. Don’t send a text without knowing what kind of reaction you’re going for.
» You might like this guide on How to Know if a Girl Likes You.
3. Maintain Your Composure to Exhibit Maturity
Joking around and being playful through text is a great way to display confidence and charm, but do it too much and she’ll think you’re immature.
Women love men who can let loose every once in a while, but who are put-together and mature the rest of the time. So, keep the bathroom humor to a minimum — on second thought, stay away from it completely! And that includes being too sexually explicit. (Leave something for the imagination!)
» Been wanting to give online dating a try? eHarmony is one of the most popular and highly rated dating apps worth checking out.
To really be mature through text, be open to all kinds of conversations — the light and the heavy. And if things don’t go your way, whether she declined your date suggestion, or isn’t responding to your messages, remember to keep your cool.
Lashing out and goofing off are two sure-fire ways to kill a text conversation with a woman.
» Readers’ Favorite: You might like this in-depth guide on How to Attract Girls.
- How to Flirt with Women: The Art of Flirting Without Being Creepy that Turns Her On!
- Atomic Attraction: The Psychology of Attraction
- Conversation Casanova: How to Effortlessly Start Conversations and Flirt Like a Pro
- The Dating Playbook For Men: A Proven 7 Step System to Go from Single to the Woman of Your Dreams
- Reflections of A Man: By Mr. Amari Soul
- Dating Sucks, but You Don’t: The Modern Guy’s Guide to Total Confidence, Romantic Connection, and Finding the Perfect Partner
4. Show Her You’re Serious by Welcoming Deep Conversation
Flirting over text should mostly be made up of light, fun banter. But every once in a while, mix things up with personal questions. A woman won’t think you’re serious about forming a relationship with her if all you do is send short, silly texts.
Show her that you’re serious by asking her things about herself and remembering details to what she shared with you. Of course, asking too many personal questions can make her go from feeling cared for and listened to, to creeped out. So, let her lead the conversation instead.
Start off an interesting conversation by asking things like, “What’s on your bucket list?”, and “Where is the one place you’ve always dreamed of visiting”. Once she responds, ask follow-up questions to keep the conversation flowing. Follow her lead and see where the texts take you.
Make sure that you respond to the questions, too, even if she doesn’t ask you anything back. You don’t want her to feel like you’re quizzing her!
Quick note: If you’re enjoying this guide on how to flirt over text with a girl, then you’ll probably find my other writing on all things style, self-development & dating useful. Each week, I share style tips, inspiration, deals and other things not shared on the blog through my free email newsletter.
To join now, just enter your email address below and click “Get Updates!”
5. Give Her Thoughtful Compliments
People love being complimented. It’s just a fact of life. No matter who you are, knowing that someone notices and likes something about you is enough to brighten your mood and make your day.
When talking to a woman, giving her genuine compliments is huge. But what should you compliment her about?
Women get complimented a lot, so you want to make sure that your compliments stand out from the rest. Instead of complimenting the obvious things like her hair, her eyes, her smile, or her taste in clothes, compliment something that most people wouldn’t notice about her.
The more specific the compliment, the better. Maybe you like the way she uses emojis in her texts. Maybe you find a hobby of hers to be really interesting. Maybe her work ethic is something you find admirable. Maybe she has a quirky fashion sense that makes her stand out from other women. Or she just radiates kindness and positivity. Pick up on what makes her unique and let her know that you have noticed.
Compliments are great, but don’t dish them out all the time. Make your compliments really mean something. The best way to do that is to compliment from the heart.
» Related: You’re sure to enjoy this article on How to Approach and Meet Women (10 Proven Techniques)
6. Include Her Name in a Text
One way to tell if someone likes you is to see if they use your name a lot when they speak to you. At the same time, when someone uses your name when they talk to you, there’s a higher chance that you’ll fall in love with them. Use this to your advantage whether speaking in-person, or through text.
A simple “Hey (name), how are you?” or “That’s such a good point, (name)” is enough to catch her attention while staying subtle.
Including a woman’s name in a text takes the message from being drab to being eye-catching and sophisticated. But keep in mind that, like over-complimenting, if you overuse a woman’s name in a text conversation, it can get a bit jarring.
When you include her name in a text occasionally, it will show her that 1. you’re interested in her romantically and 2. you actually know her name (trust me, that’s already better than some men she’s spoken to).
» You Might Like: Best Cheap Date Ideas.
7. Don’t Be Afraid to Have a Sense of Humor
One of the most important aspects of flirting is having a good sense of humor. Being able to laugh at yourself is a great way to rid the relationship of awkwardness, and lets the other person know that you’re laid back and confident enough to be the butt of a joke.
Playfully teasing a woman is also a great way to flirt. Give her a fun nickname, start a competition with her over something silly, or joke about something that makes her unique. Make sure that when you turn the jokes onto her, you keep your tone laid back and don’t forget to use emojis!
» You might like this article on Why You Shouldn’t Look for Love.
8. Ask Open-Ended Questions
Asking open ended questions will give your crush the opportunity to share more about herself, and if she’s into you, then she’ll definitely be open to sharing things about herself. You just have to give her the right prompts.
Avoid asking a girl a question that can be answered with a single word. Questions like, “how are you?” or “what’s going on?” are fine for a quick reply to her text, but you’ll want to follow up with something that has more substance.
If you want to learn a bit more about her, you can reference something she mentioned to you previously. For example, you like sports, but she told you that she doesn’t watch and hates basketball. You can text her, “So, I know you don’t watch sports and absolutely hate basketball, but when you have a partner are you more willing to watch or still, nope! No sports? 🤣”
Her reply will give you some intel on what it might be like to date her. It’s open-ended questions like these that will provide you with more than just a “yes” or “no” or “good” and open the door for more questions and back and forth.
» You Might Like: 53 Romantic Italian Phrases (Sayings About Love to Melt Her Heart)
9. Don’t Forget to Use Emojis & Gifs
I mentioned this previously, but elaborate, using emojis is a great way to express playfulness and personality to add some fun to your conversation with your crush.
They key is to sprinkle emojis in your texts here and there, not in every single message. Same goes with memes or gifs. Gifs are a simple way to showcase your sense of humor while also filling her in on your interests and cultural know-how.
Pro tip: It’s easy to go overboard here and so emojis and gifs sparingly and strategically. It’s also a good idea to get a feel for her texting style to see if you can mirror her and play off of each other. 😉
10. Be Polite – Show Her that Chivalry isn’t Dead
Last but certainly not least, remember to always be polite! Being classy means that you always act like a gentleman. Think back to those old Hollywood movie stars. How did they act around women?
Let me give you a hint, they would never send a string of one-word texts. Consider her schedule, too. Don’t text her when you know she’s busy or force a conversation when she is in a bad mood. And, the holy grail, be patient if she doesn’t respond right away.
Being classy is all about maturity, sophistication, and good manners. If you put your best self forward in your texts, you’re giving yourself the best chance at starting a fulfilling relationship. So, follow the tips above to turn your dry texts into flirty ones that will lead you on the way to love.
» Enjoyed this? I think you will love this guide on cute good morning texts that are sure to make any girl’s day.
About Claudia
Claudia is the creator of Text Weapon, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She is passionate about modern communication and loves helping others learn the art of flirty texting.
Onto you, how do you like to flirt over text?
To continue the discussion, come and join the Gentlemen Within Private Facebook Community.
Looking forward to seeing you in there.
As a fundamentally unattractive man, I make sure to never express interest in any woman no matter how much I like her. Doing so would likely get me accused of harassment. Most guys can attract some women on a sexual level – I am incapable of doing so and as such there is no point in trying.
Are you listening to yourself? That kind of negative self talk is toxic. A little bit of confidence can go a long way. –K