While being face-to-face with the person you like can seem more daunting than establishing a relationship through text, it’s more likely the other way around.
Body language can be easier to read; conversations can be had through facial expressions and simple gestures, but texting requires you to use the wording, and frequency, as your only gauge to determine when to ‘leap ahead’ or when ‘enough is enough’.
Great Tips on How & When to Stop Texting a Girl
Women are complicated, that’s no secret! Men can feel they’ve pointed the boat in the right direction, and that the currents are in their favor, until—one day—they receive that one text that carries a deeper meaning or—worse still—there’s no response at all.
You’re left to decode this cryptic message alone, and it can leave even the strongest of men in a spin. Was it something you said? Was it something you forgot?
This is why it’s important to always be a gentleman. If she’s truly interested, she’ll likely attempt to match your courteous tone and you’ll never be left hanging.
There are many reasons that a woman would want to end a text convo. But, there are also times when she just has ‘stuff to think about’ or ‘it’s been a rough day and I don’t feel like talking’ or ‘my messages haven’t been coming through due to poor connectivity’.
If she gives reasons like this, accept them and trust that she’ll get back to you when she’s feeling a little better. On the other hand, if she gives no reason and responds with one-word answers, you might need to step out of the vehicle for a moment and give her some space.
The way you end your texts will determine her willingness and even eagerness to text you back. If you get this right, it’s likely she’ll at least be respectful enough to give you real answers instead of white lies to get you to leave her alone.
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How Should I End My Texts?
Let’s presume you’ve only just met. You’ll want to make a good first impression, of course, and don’t want her to feel you’re stalking her or pulling her away from the train of thought she’s likely riding at work or in her personal life.
If you can remember the vibe under which you met, this will help you to decide how to introduce yourself again—because there’s a chance she may not remember, depending on the scenario through which you met.
Be yourself and polite are the two most important points. If you’re not into emojis and slang, then don’t try to use them; it’s not you. Once you’ve found a good sentence to introduce the chat, you’ll need to consider another to end it. Sounds easy enough, but how you end your text will determine what she thinks of you and whether or not she’ll even respond.
If you want her to see you as a gentleman, you’re going to have to portray this through your wording. ‘Catcha later’ or ‘Gotta cruise’ might work with your best friends, but at the start you’ll want her to know you have respect for her.
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Watch Your Tone
Where, how, and when you met her will be your guide at the start. Even if she was under the influence, or both of you were, most women feel more attracted to the chivalrous male archetype because respect, honor, and nobility are seemingly priceless in this day and age. On the other hand, you don’t want to sound like a stuck-up twit who thinks more of themselves than they do of their partner.
How would a friendly receptionist take a message for the CEO of a young and exciting new business? Her tone over the phone would be helpful, courteous and respectful, certainly with a smile in her voice.
This is business, and it’s an approach that works well – especially if you’re wanting the person you’re speaking with to respond and remain interested in you. And so, trying this approach when stepping into the shallower waters with her for the first time is the safest.
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Consider the following examples:
- It was great meeting you last night! Did you and your friends end up going to Jaggers? I’ve got an even better pizza place I’d love to take you to…free on Thursday night?
This tells her you remember details from your conversation, and you have a solid plan to meet her again.
- I know you have a busy week but I would love to continue our conversation. Drop me a line when things calm down and we’ll make a plan.
This tells her that you’ve moved your chess piece forward and you’re now waiting for her response, but there’s no pressure at all.
- I’ll be in the neighborhood on Friday; if you’re up for a coffee, let me know. If you’re not a coffee person, you might be able to talk me into an ice-cream…
This shows that you’re playful and looking forward to enjoying a laid-back time together.
These are three of the safest lines you can use to end a text, especially if you’re texting her for the first time. But there are also approaches you should not take, such as:
– don’t make-up stories to impress her. Once that lying game begins, it’s a slippery slope.
– don’t be fake; if you’re shy she needs to know this. Likewise, if you’re confident about your feelings for her, don’t act too aloof.
– never tell her what to do i.e. ‘meet me at the bar in twenty’, unless something special happened the night you met her, and you have some inside joke. Women don’t like to be bossed around…especially by a guy they just met.
– never come across as needy. Refrain from ending a text with something too romantic like ‘missing you already’. This can be intimidating and a little creepy.
» You might like this guide on Signs that a Girl Likes You.
When Should I Stop Texting Her?
Let’s presume you got off to a good start. She responded and seems to enjoy chatting with you, but then one day you receive a one-word reply i.e. ‘K’ or ‘Yes’ or ‘No’. So, what’s going on? One-word answers are a sign she’s either busy, or has lost interest and hasn’t got around to blocking you yet.
However, it could also mean she’s having a bad day and actually wants you to pry. And so, with these kinds of replies, you could simply choose to text, ‘Got a few errands to run but my phone’s on if you need me,’ and leave it at that.
If she never responds again, take it that it’s because she no longer has interest in you. If she’s been texting you for even a few days already then grows cold, leave the ball in her court by simply offering your time should she need it.
She’ll return to your text every now again, and if you’ve been sincere from the start she’ll feel comfortable with contacting you again when she’s ready.
Two to three weeks of silence is probably a good estimate for knowing when it’s truly done with. And don’t follow-up on your text, either – this might push her deeper into a corner.
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What are sure signs that she wants the texting to end?
Here are a few:
1. One-word answers
These show she has almost zero enthusiasm for your interactions, and you’re probably wasting your time. If you’re being yourself, polite, and friendly are not creating sparks in her, you might find yourself having to resort to a persona that does not fit you as the unique being you are, and this could be a major obstacle in future.
2. Zero enthusiasm for your questions
You might see a ball game on TV. Knowing she enjoys the games, too, you ask her, ‘How was that game – awesome, right?’ If she responds with ‘it was okay’ or ‘I didn’t see it’, she’s not relaying the same enthusiasm you are. Always remember that a text conversation, like a relationship, takes two for it to work – like a game of tennis. Should one person put the racket down, it’s game over.
3. You have nothing in common but she doesn’t want to be rude
When two people have something in common, they will spur and encourage one another in that area. If you’ve told her all of your interests and she’s not responded with any kind of enthusiasm or interest in any of your proposed topics, she’s likely not a match for you.
4. No response at all
If you see blue ticks or ‘seen’ symbols but she’s not responded, it does not get more obvious than that. Leave it be without even texting her that you’re giving up. Just move on.
» Related: You’re sure to enjoy this article on How to Flirt over Text with A Girl.
In conclusion, the comparison of a tennis game is a good one to use when texting a new girl. The game of tennis is usually a respectful one, with both players meeting one another at their level of the game. When the ball is not returned, it either means you hit out or she put her racket down.
You’ll be safest going with the ‘friendly receptionist’ type of approach at the start; you’re happy to be speaking with her but have work to do, and she’s under no obligation to respond.
Keep in mind that pressure very seldom leads to perfection, not in a relationship anyway. If she’s important to you, you’ll adopt the chivalrous approach, showing her that you know the value of respecting another’s space.
Claudia is the creator of Text Weapon, and the author of French Seduction Made Easy. She is passionate about modern communication and loves helping others learn the art of flirty texting.
Onto you, what’s your number 1 key takeaway?
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