So, you’ve been seeing this girl for a while now. And while things are good between the two of you, you’re not really moving forward. In fact, sometimes, it feels like she’s even pulling away.
Well fellas, it’s time to step back and examine whether this girl actually wants you.
15 Signs that A Girl is Not Interested
In this article, I will give you 15 signs she’s just not into you so you can finally move on.
1. She Takes, But Rarely Gives
And I don’t mean just gifts. After all, gifts should be freely given.
What I mean is time, attention, and affection.
She’s always ready to ask for help when she’s in need of something. But she doesn’t rush to your side when it’s your turn. In fact, she is very quick to set her “boundaries” when it’s your turn to rely on her.
It’s not even that you get in trouble all the time, or that you’re needy. You have a feeling that she just doesn’t like it when you inconvenience her even just a little bit.
She’s always been take, take, take… but rarely—if ever—gives back.
Perhaps she’s always been this way from the start and thought things would change… but she hasn’t.
2. She’s Not at All Clingy
Clinginess is not a positive trait. But total lack of affection and “clingy” behavior is a sign that she’s not so crazy about you.
Her life is perfectly fine even if you don’t message her in one day.
She’d still be laughing and smiling even if you’re away for days.
She won’t even send you a single “I miss you” text. And when you confront her about it, she says she doesn’t want to ruin your fun by texting you 24/7. You know it’s an excuse!
When in love, even the most independent woman gets a little clingy. So don’t take it as just her being “mature” and “healthy”, she’s probably not that into you if she doesn’t show any sign of clinginess.
» Related: Signs that She’s Leading You On.
3. She Forgets Important Details About You
You’re pretty sure that she’s not forgetful because her memory’s always crystal-clear when it comes to the things she likes— like when her favorite artist released their newest album.
But she blanks out when it comes to details about you, even important ones like the day of your birthday or your dietary allergies. And you’ve told her about them a dozen times!
A girl who’s actually interested in you will actually bother to remember these things that matter to you.
You might be interested in these resources:
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
- Dating Sucks, but You Don’t: The Modern Guy’s Guide to Total Confidence, Romantic Connection, and Finding the Perfect Partner
- No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan to Get What You in Love, Sex and Life
- Models: Attract Women Through Honesty
- Atomic Attraction: The Psychology of Attraction
- The Dating Playbook For Men: A Proven 7 Step System to Go from Single to the Woman of Your Dreams
4. Her Eyes Are Always Elsewhere
You might be sitting at the same table or talking to one another, but her attention is elsewhere.
Her eyes are always scanning the room, and when she sees a familiar face, her eyes light up and she gives THEM her full attention.
In a way, you can’t help but feel like you’re just a set piece.
When you call her out about it, she gaslights you and says you’re just being too demanding.
But it’s not like she simply pays attention to others more every now and then. That is actually perfectly normal, and her excuse would be valid if that was the case.
The issue is that it happens almost every time you’re out together. And this is a sign that she’s not into you—or, at least, not as much as you would have hoped.
» Related: Here’s a guide you might like on how to approach the fairer sex.
5. She’s Not Equally Curious About You
If you ask her about her day, she’d gladly share everything that happened to her from the time she got up to the time you met.
But she doesn’t bother to ask you about your day. And when you do try to share, you can see that she’s clearly disinterested.
It’s certainly possible that she’s actually into you, but that she’s just bad at communication or doesn’t know what to do when the topic is out of her depth.
But if she’s doing the other signs in this list, I’ll bet my bottom dollar that she doesn’t care that much about you.
6. She Lets Go of Your Hand in Public
She makes you feel like heaven when it’s just the two of you. But when you’re out in public or simply when there are others around, she would sneakily pull her hand away and act like you’re just friends.
Of course, it could simply mean that she’s too shy or afraid of being judged by others. But it could also be that she’s trying to hide whatever you have going from others.
Perhaps she’s already in a relationship and is cheating on her partner with you. Perhaps she’s embarrassed that you’re together.
So while she could afford to be intimate with you in private, she isn’t exactly keen on doing it where people can see you.
» On the other hand: Here are surefire signs that she actually likes you.
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7. She Hasn’t Introduced You to Her People
One of the signs that a relationship is going forward is when you meet each other’s friends.
But she hasn’t introduced you to even one of them!
It just means that she finds no need for it. To her, you’re not really getting serious (or worse, you’re not even a “thing”!), so there’s no need for the hassle.
Introducing people to friends isn’t really so comfortable and natural—it does require some effort—and no, she doesn’t want to put any effort with you yet, and you know why. Yep, she’s not that into you.
» You Might Like: Will I Ever Find Love? When You’re Ready, It Will Find You. (Here’s Why)
8. She’s Just Way Too Passive
You’re pretty sure that your relationship would grind to a halt the moment you stop trying.
She doesn’t plan dates, and never starts conversations unless she wants something from you.
She rarely says “good night!” or “how are you?” unless you do so first.
And you know that it’s not because she’s busy with work or other obligations. In fact, you know that she has more than enough time to spare!
It’s not because she’s naturally passive either, because you can see her take the initiative when it comes to planning things with her friends.
This happens because either she’s taken you and your relationship for granted… or that she wasn’t even that invested in you in the first place.
» Related: 7 Qualities Women Find Attractive in Men.
9. You’re Quite Certain She Still Flirts With Other Men
She says she likes you, but you can clearly see her smiling coyly at that colleague of hers, or at that random cute guy on the street.
And while it’s possible that it’s just nothing—that you’re just reading too much into things— it drives you crazy when you see her acting like a giddy high school girl, and NOT because of you.
It sucks even more because you aren’t officially dating yet, so you can’t exactly confront her about it.
If this is something you’ve only noticed recently, it could be a sign that she is not into you anymore. She probably got bored with you, so she’s setting her sights on other people.
But if it’s always been like this, then she’s clearly not that into you.
» Tired of Tinder, Bumble or Hinge? Give eHarmony a shot, it’s one of the more promising and established dating apps.
10. She Remains a Mystery
You’re a highly sensitive person so you can sense that she’s not being open to you.
Sure, she talks about important things like her feelings or her childhood traumas… but she doesn’t go all the way.
It seems like there are just some things she’s still not comfortable sharing with you.
And you know that if you pry, she might push you away. After all, you have no right to know every little thing about her if you’re just another guy in her life.
Some people take forever to open up, even to the people they love. But if coupled by most signs here, she’s definitely not that into you.
» Related: You might like this guide on ending a text conversation with a girl.
11. She Has Not Done Sweet Things for You
You know those grand gestures of love we see in the movies? Those are obvious signs that a girl is into you.
And the thing is, well… she hasn’t done any of that. Not one!
She hasn’t “confessed” her feelings for you, she has not made you a love letter or even a birthday cake (even if she likes baking), she has not rushed to you in the rain and kissed you without a care in the world.
She has not because she simply can’t because to her, you’re not the one.
12. She Gets Awkward When You Do Sweet Things for Her
So okay, she has not done sweet things to you. But what makes things worse is that you’ve done a lot of sweet things for her but it seems like she doesn’t appreciate them.
In fact, you’re quite sure you saw her roll her eyes or cringe when she turned her back on you.
Your efforts are acknowledged, but not treated as something truly special.
She says “thanks” and smiles when you do sweet things, but she doesn’t go “awww”. She never gushes.
Someone who’s into you would feel like she’s the luckiest girl in the world if she received sweet gifts from you. Maybe she’s not ecstatic because she has doubts about you.
13. She Doesn’t Get Jealous
You aren’t trying to get her jealous (you’re not manipulative), but you’ve gotten yourself in one too many situations where she SHOULD be jealous…like when your female colleague touched your cheeks.
And yet, somehow, she simply shrugged it off.
She also never asks you who you’ll be with when you go out, or if you have a female colleague with you for your work trip.
She’s just unbothered by any of your female relations, and that’s probably NOT because she’s confident, but because she’s not that into you.
» Readers’ Favorite: Check out this list of a few dozen Romantic & Fun Date Ideas.
14. You’re Always the One Waiting
You’re always the one waiting for replies, approval, or for her to arrive at your date.
And that’s because you’re the one who’s more interested. Plain and simple.
There’s an imbalance in how interested you are towards one another and this makes it seem like she’s the princess and you’re the pauper who’s willing to do whatever it takes just to be with her.
If this is what’s happening, she’s probably just leading you on.
Start treating her like she treats you and see how she reacts.
15. She Doesn’t Feel Like Home
It’s strange. No matter how much time you spend together, you still don’t feel comfortable with her.
When you talk, it feels dry or you have different interests.
When you’re silent, it feels like someone has to say something because the silence is so awkward.
These are all signs of lack of chemistry but it could also be simply because one of you (her!) is not sure about their feelings. And because of this, your dynamics tend to get a little stiff.
You simply can’t relax because something doesn’t feel right. And that something is her lack of real interest towards you.
» Related: You might like this guide on Flirting Over Text With a Girl.
Wrapping Up
It’s not easy when a girl you’re so into doesn’t return the same level of interest.
It’s much worse if they give you breadcrumbs to lead you on.
Sure, it’s tempting to throw in a last ditch effort to help her appreciate you for who you are. But a true gentleman knows better than to debase himself on what simply isn’t meant to be.
And when you see five or more of the things described in this article, it is indeed time to abandon your aspirations for a romantic relationship with this girl.
It’s time to move forward and look for the kind of love that won’t make you want to read these kinds of articles.
If a girl’s not feeling you, what do you normally do?
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Since no woman could be interested in me, there is zero point either in showing interest in women or looking for signs from them. I am and always have been totally invisible to women because I am fundamentally unattractive – as such I am ineligible for women to be interested in me
Paul, Appreciate the comment. Wishing you the best! –K