Last time, I talked about how you can tell when you’re being friendzoned by a woman.
And I doubt that you’d want to stay there if you can help it.
So as promised, I’ll guide you on how to get out of that dark, cold, lonely place.
In this article, we give you 17 techniques on how to get out of the friend zone and into a relationship.
1. Show her your romantic side
Guys who have “no romantic bone in them,” are often put in the friendzone.
Perhaps, to her, you’ve always been the “funny guy” or the “supportive pal”, and so she can’t imagine you as someone she’d kiss and hold hands with.
Well then, show her that you’re actually quite romantic!
But don’t go overboard, please. You don’t have to recite poems or listen to sappy love songs all of a sudden if that’s not your thing. All you have to do is express – in your own way – that you’re actually interested in love.
For example, you can tell her about your first love or you can share what you want in a relationship… anything that could make her know that you actually care about these things.
If you haven’t done this before, this will definitely allow her to see you in a different light.
2. Show her that you are a sexual creature
The goal is similar to the one above.
But warning: this is hard to pull off without making you appear creepy, so don’t overdo it!
How do you do it right, exactly? By simply sharing when asked. It also helps if you’re not being too serious about it.
For example, if you and your friends are talking about sex, say something about your experiences and desires instead of just keeping quiet like usual.
It could make her go “hmmm, so he’s actually into sex, huh?”. And of course, it could make her imagine actually doing those things! Both of these things could possibly move you out of the friend zone.
3. Be a little mysterious
There is sharing, and then there is oversharing. And guys who are oversharers are usually sent to the friendzone.
Share away, but keep some secrets. Of course, you have to tease her a little bit and the only way to know that is by letting her KNOW that you are indeed hiding some things.
For example, say “I have some experience in that but I’d rather not talk about it. It’s NSFW!”
Or “Yeah, I can’t hang out with you this weekend. I need to be somewhere.” And don’t tell her where this “somewhere” is.
She has to be off limits to some parts of your life even if you’re the closest of friends. Why? Because that’s how seduction works.
If you overshare, you start to become less sexy. So stay a little mysterious. This is just basic psychology.
4. Do not be her 24/7 go-to guy
Do you always say yes to her requests? Do you always reply to her texts in a heartbeat?
Well then, you have to stop doing that or else you’ll become the bestie and not the lover.
I know you want to make her happy and that you truly care for her, but you should show her that you have a full life… and that sometimes, you’ll say no to her requests.
If you’re too available, you become less sexy. I know, I know. But that’s just how it works!
Let her run to her female friends for comfort.The less available you are, your interactions, in turn, become more meaningful.
You see, she’ll never miss you if you’re always there. And more than that, she’ll never be able to re-evaluate how she feels towards you if you are always just a text away..
5. Let her know that you are actually into girls
Okay, hear me out. Many straight men are put squarely in the friendzone because girls assume they’re into other guys.
It’s not even because of the way one acts or speaks. It’s usually because these men fail to express any desire for girls. It doesn’t help that they never had girlfriends either.
If this is you, trust me, as harsh as it may sound, some girls assume you’re not them.
So get this out of the way by simply expressing that you do desire women.
It can be as simple as complimenting a girl who passed by, as in “Wow, she’s so cute I could date her” or you know, you can actually date other girls!
6. Seduce her (in a casual way)
After you’ve shown her your sexual side, why don’t you make it even more obvious by making her know that you want to be sexual with her… well, kind of.
Again, this requires some skills and how you deliver it matters more than the actual words you say. What works best is by being playful and funny.
And since you’re already close friends, then it shouldn’t be that hard.
Try to do some very obvious seduction tricks and apply it to her—stare at her too long then bite your lips, for example. And then once you sense she’s starting to feel it (she might blush), laugh about it like it’s all fun and games.
This works because she’d get a preview of how you can actually seduce a girl… and if she’s slightly interested in you, it just might be the start of her developing feelings for you.
7. Reinvent yourself
Sometimes, it’s just the way you look or the way you act that puts you in a friendzone with a girl.
First, consider leveling up your style. Or dressing a bit differently than normal
If she’s always used to seeing you wear jeans and a basic tee, then try wearing something a little bit more elevated like chinos and an oxford cloth button down. Or if she’s used to seeing you in formal clothes, wear something more casual.
But it’s not just how you look, of course. You should also try to reinvent your personality just a little bit. Get a new hobby, try new things.
One way to “shake up” how she sees you is by shaking things up with yourself. It could be the ember that would spark her fire.
Quick note: If you’re enjoying this guide on how to get out of the friend zone, then you’ll probably find my other writing on all things style & self-development and dating useful. Each week, I share style tips, inspiration, deals and other things not shared on the blog through my free email newsletter.
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8. Compliment her in a way that says you see her more than a friend
A sneaky way to get out of the friendzone is through compliments.
But not just any friendly or neutral compliment like “Oh wow, you’re really talented”. Give her something more, hmmm… layered. Something that would make her think “Wait a minute, is he into me?!”
Tell her how great she looks when she’s dressing up nicely. And if you want to go a step further, tell her that any guy would feel lucky to date her.
You can also do this with her physical features. The safest one is the eyes. “You really have the prettiest eyes I’ve seen” then stare at her a few seconds longer. When delivered well – that is, by not being tacky and creepy – it can possibly help you out of the Friendzone.
9. Let your eyes do the talking
Have you ever looked at her in a way that says “I really, really, really like you?”
If you haven’t, then no wonder you’re still in the Friendzone.
How you gaze at someone is very important because the eyes are the most flirtatious organ in the body. It can determine your relationships with others.
The next time you’re alone together, stare at her for a few seconds more than what’s considered friendly. There are different levels of eye contact in attraction so you gotta find what’s right for you. But as a rule of thumb, you will know this because she’ll become a little uncomfortable (hopefully in a good way!)…but not too uncomfortable that she’d consider slapping you!
10. Do not cheer her on when she dates other men
Because… why would you?!
Seriously, show that you’re affected!
Let’s be real. It’s one thing not to make advances, but it’s a st*pid move if you push her to date others when you like her yourself.
Why would you pretend that you’re happy for her if she’s dating? Just to stay “friends”? You obviously don’t want to be just friends and you clearly don’t want her to find another guy. Make her feel this!
So don’t fake it. Besides, what if she’s just doing it to test you.
Don’t play this game. Be more honest about your intentions instead of pretending to be a friend.
11. Stop treating her like a buddy
If you don’t want to be seen as a friend, well then… don’t treat her like one of your guy friends!
Refrain from calling her “dude” or “man,” and don’t give her a high five or worse, a fist bump. Sure, some people can flirt that way, but if she’s been treating you like a legit friend, doing these things can lock you up in the friendzone for good.
Instead, treat her like a lady. Be a bit more of a gentleman.
Offer her your seat, give her special treatment, offer to carry her stuff. I know chivalry is dead but this isn’t about it. This is about you clearly giving gestures to make her feel that you see her as a woman.
12. Do not let her bring a friend the next time you hang out
When a girl sees you as just a friend, she has the tendency to tag her friends along when you ask her to hang out.
And this sucks because instead of you having the opportunity to woo her – to have some alone time – you end up just being stuck as a friend. You won’t level up if this continues happening!
So next time she says “Oh, I’ll bring Nancy with me” when you invite her for some drinks, tell her that no, she may not because you just want to spend some time one on one.
13. Give her a gift that clearly says you like her more than a friend
If you’re gifting everyone else a box of cookies, then make her cookies extra special.
Better yet, give her something else more thoughtful like concert tickets to her favorite band or a painting that she can’t stop staring at when you’re at a gallery.
But of course, it doesn’t even have to be expensive or extra special.
Just make sure you come up with something a little more than ordinary to say you see her as a little more than just a friend.
Again, be careful. Overdoing it will give you creepy vibes. Don’t give her a mixtape with a 10-page love letter of “friendship.”
14. Let her get a little jealous
We’ve seen this in the movies. A guy “bestie” dates another girl, and then BAM! The girl realizes that she sees him more than a friend.
This happens in real life, too.
You have to trigger her “fear of loss” in order for her to see you differently.
Now, I put this at the bottom part of the list because this move is a little aggressive (aka desperate).
Do this only when you’ve done all the stuff above.
As always, try to be a bit subtle. Don’t kiss a girl in front of her! Instead, try to show her some prospects on your dating app or dance with a girl when you’re in a club with her. See how she reacts.
15. Show her you get jealous when she is with another man
When she gets giddy when she tells you she’s about to go out on a date with a hot guy, don’t go “YAY! Happy for you!” Just…No!
This is pretty basic. If you want to know how to get out of the friendzone with a woman, you have to show her you’re not so pleased that she’s dating!
Don’t get enthusiastic and even excuse yourself or outright tell her “I’m a little jealous, you know.”
Then if she says “What?! Don’t be ridiculous!”, fake a smile and keep quiet. Hopefully, that will get the message across.
16. Lovebomb – then pull away
If you’ve done all the things above and yet, she’s still blind about your feelings for her, then it’s time to pull the oldest trick in the book. While we wouldn’t normally recommend this tactic – drastic times call for drastic measures.
Shower her with love and affection… be there for her, be very present in her life. And then just when she’s gotten very comfortable with your presence, pull away.
This will intrigue her and make her think about the two of you. This will make her assess your whole relationship and what she really wants from you.
There is a big chance that you’ll be out of the friendzone when she realizes she’s missing you because she’s actually falling for you. But there’s also a chance that she’ll realize she really just wants to be friends. Either way, it’s time for you to know.
17. If all else fails – tell her you like her!
Look, you’ve been waiting for so long for this girl to realize that you like her. If you wait a bit more, you’ll be wasting your time!
Sure, you can be friends for life, but for now, you have to know if there’s a chance that the two of you will be together.
If you’ve done everything you can and she still sees you as a friend, well them… risk it all. Risk the friendship for a while, if possible.
Tell her how you truly feel about her and see where it goes. If by doing so, she’d stop talking to you because it’s too awkward for her, then that’s the price you pay for fighting for your feelings.
Don’t worry though, if she’s really a friend, the two of you will always be friends.
But what if… what if your confession is what she’s been waiting for all along?
It’s tough to stay in the friend zone especially if you’ve been in love with a woman for a very long time.
You’d hope there’s a magic switch that could make her see you differently.
Not all of the tricks in this list will yield instant results, but I’m sure one of them would do the trick if done right.
Are you going to get out of the friend zone?
Let’s continue the discussion over in the Gentlemen Within Private Facebook Community.
Looking forward to seeing you in there.