You really like this girl.
And, as luck would have it, it seems like she really likes you, too – well, as a friend, that is.
Don’t worry, I will write about how to escape the friend zone in another article.
For now, it’s important to find out just how far you are into the friend zone by seeing how many of the signs on this list describe what she’s doing.
1. She calls you “dude”
This is probably one of the most glaring signs of being friend zoned by a girl.
Bro speak is code for “I see you as a friend” and when spoken by a woman, it also means “I’m DEFINITELY not flirting with you”.
“Dude” automatically kills any sign of romance or lust, and she’s probably doing it on purpose so there’s no awkwardness between the two of you.
This is especially true if she has never ever called any one of her crushes “dude” before.
2. She gives you a high five or a fist bump
This is another code for “We’re friends and nothing more!”
Sure, there are exceptions to the rule. A girl can act fun and boyish even if she’s so into you. She might even be doing it so she can touch you.
But if she does most of the signs in this list, then chances are, you’re a “dude” to her.
3. She doesn’t get self-conscious – at all
There’s absolutely no sign that she wants to impress you. When you’re together, not for a moment does she care about how she looks, how she acts, and even how she smells.
She has fungus on her toenails and she doesn’t even try to hide them when you’re around. In fact, she shows it to you like she’s trying to annoy her little brother.
But while this can still be vague, what’s a dead giveaway is that when there are other men around, she suddenly transforms into a sophisticated woman!
4. She pushes you to start dating
She’s excited for you to finally find a girlfriend. And she’s very eager to help!
She matches you with her friends and encourages you to make the first move.
She even insists on helping you with your dating profiles so you’ll improve your chances of getting swiped right.
At first you thought it was just some sort of “reverse psychology” tactic so you’ll finally confess your feelings for her, but it’s clear that she’s genuine with her intentions – she really wants you to find love!
5. She goes to you for advice like you’re a girlfriend
She calls you or meets up with you just to blabber life updates as if she’s just exchanging updates with a bestie.
She shares everything about her life with you, including her latest dating pursuits, of course.
And whether things go wrong or right, in her girlfriend-y tone, she’d give you blow-by-blow updates to ask for your advice as if you’re Oprah.
6. She’s perfectly comfy to change clothes in front of you
When we’re attracted to someone, it’s impossible for us to get perfectly comfortable undressing in front of them. But not her!
She’s removed her shirt in front of you and she does it as if it’s nothing.
She’s too comfy with you that she’s forgotten you’re a guy, and that it’s possible for you to get aroused by what she’s doing.
To her, you’re no different than her young brother or even her mother.
7. She can’t sense when you’re flirting
You really like this girl so you try to make subtle (and not-so-subtle) advances as much as you can. The problem is that she doesn’t seem to know you’re doing it.
She’s insensitive to all signals!
When you stare at her for a long time, she doesn’t even pay that much attention.
When you touch her back, she doesn’t budge.
She sees everything you do as a friendly gesture. It’s probably because the thought of you flirting with her doesn’t cross her mind because she only sees you as a friend.
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8. She forgets the things you find important
Friends are special, but the things they do and say don’t retain in our memories as much as that of people we fancy.
She has forgotten about the important stuff you tell her like the fact that you’re allergic to cats. You’ve told her three times about it and yet… it doesn’t register in her brain. And so, she keeps offering her cat to cuddle when you visit.
That’s probably because even if she likes you as a person, she’s paying more attention to someone else romantically.
9. She isn’t so bothered if you don’t talk for days
You’re clearly just a friend to her because even if you haven’t texted her in days (weeks even), she’s totally fine. In fact, you’re quite sure she’s not aware that you haven’t been talking.
She’s not paying any mind to how much you talk because she doesn’t see you as a lover (or potential lover), but just as a friend. And friends are totally fine with not talking for a long time.
Not only that, when you do reach out, you can see obvious signs she friend-zoned you over text. For example, when you say “I miss your face!”, she replies with a laughing emoji or a fist bump.
Yeah, you’re definitely friend-zoned.
10. She’s totally (and I mean totally!) herself when she’s with you
We turn into a different person when we’re around someone we like. We laugh differently, we sound and act differently. We even think differently.
But she’s exactly the same person when she’s with you.
While this is a good thing in friendships or long-term relationships, it’s not the case if you’re trying to pursue her romantically. Being too unbothered means you probably don’t have any effect on her.
You can go in and out of the room (or her life), and she’s still the same person inside out.
11. She doesn’t save a little mystery
Mystery is sexy. Most women know this. So when they’re with men they’re mildly interested in, they try to get a little mysterious.
You know how this looks. They’ll say a little something then leave, they’ll make you curious and wanting for more.
They don’t want to reveal everything about them, hoping that it will make men want to chase them.
If she’s an open book to you, there’s a possibility that she doesn’t like or lust for you at all.
12. She once thanked you for being a good friend
Did she say something like “You’re such a good friend” or “We’re friends forever, okay!”?
Well, you’re in the deep end of the Friend zone, my man.
A girl who sees you romantically will not blurt out these words because she’d not even think it… even if both of you are “friendly” towards each other.
And if she does it repeatedly—say, four to five times—then take it as her message to you that she enjoys your friendship and she hopes you won’t ruin it by taking it to another level.
13. She acts like a guy when you’re together
By this, I mean, she doesn’t act girly at all. No display of femininity whatsoever!
You see, when a girl is in love, it’s inevitable that she’ll bring out her feminine side. Even the most independent woman would start dressing up nicely, would talk in a cute way, and would want to be seen and treated like a princess rather than a “bro”.
If she doesn’t try to emphasize your dynamics—that you’re a guy, and she’s a girl—you’re not on the same page. She probably just sees you as a friend.
14. She gushes about her crush in front of you
She freaks out and runs to you, to tell you that her crush talked to you.
And you know for certain that she’s NOT just doing it because she wants you to get jealous!
She’s really into another guy and she wants to share her excitement with you hoping you’d be happy for her, too.
A girl who’s somewhat into you but is also attracted to someone else won’t show you her excitement for another guy. She knows it could ruin your potential to be together. So the fact that she doesn’t care how it will make you feel means you’re clearly a friend to her.
15. She’s just thankful (read: not giddy) when you give her sweet things
A girl who’s into you would see these small gifts as grand gestures of love. And she’d blush and turn starry-eyed like her life is going to change forever.
But if her reaction to you clearly shows she’s just thankful for the things you do for her, then she’s probably just happy to have a nice friend.
She says “awwww” and It’s the kind that you hear when someone sees a cute puppy, not “awww” when someone is in love.
16. She complains to you about being single
She HATES the fact that she’s single. She jokes about it, whines about it, and beats herself up about it.
She tells you she’s willing to date anyone decent just to find love already!
And the thing is, again, you can see she’s being genuine about it. She’s not just saying it to let you know that if you won’t pursue her, she’s going to find other men. She’s saying it to you because… well, you’re a friend!
17. She doesn’t look at you with longing
You know exactly what the look of love is like, right? It’s that look we give when we’re hoping the object of our affection would decode how much we like them based on the intensity of our stare.
Well… she hasn’t given it to you. And you’re quite sure it’s not because she’s just shy.
And when you look at her with longing, she just thinks you’re acting strange.
18. She doesn’t get flirty with you (even when she’s drunk)
Here’s something that you should know about girls: They find it hard to hold back their feelings when they’re drunk.
Many even use being drunk as an excuse to get close to someone they like… and just pretend to not remember anything in the morning.
You’ve been drunk together a handful of times and she never even touched your arm. She however, flirts around with other men (if there are any around), or goes about talking about her crush or latest heartbreak.
19. She expects everyone to see you as just friends
When her parents ask her if it’s safe for her to go out late at night with a guy, she tells them “Oh come on, it’s just my friend.”
When people start teasing you that you could make a cool pair, she rolls her eyes and chuckles.
She wants everyone to know that you are friends and nothing more, and she finds it annoying how most people find it impossible that men and women can just be friends.
20. She uses you as a wingman
She begs you to go to an event with her because you’re friends with the organizer… who happens to be her crush.
She asks you to sit close to her to make someone a little jealous.
In other words, she uses you to get the attention of the guys she likes.
No, she’s not doing all of this because she likes you. She’s doing all of this because you’re a friend, of course. And friends help each other. She’d be glad to do the same favors to you, for sure.
21. She laughs when you try to make advances
She thinks you’re just joking when you try to make moves on her. She even cringes and says “ewww” as if her brother tries to flirt with her.
She slaps your arm so you’ll stop your “act” because it’s creeping her out.
Clearly, there’s no part of her that thinks you could ever be together because she’s already put you in friend territory.
This doesn’t mean you’re hopeless, but it’s indeed a clear sign you’re in the deep end of the Friendzone and it would require you much more effort to possibly turn things around.
It stings when you’re so close to a girl and yet she’s so far because she only sees you as a friend, and nothing more.
You might feel sorry for yourself sometimes and ask the heavens “why am i always in the friendzone”?
But it’s time to look at the positive side of things. See, all relationships—especially long-term ones—require deep friendship in order for it to be fulfilling and longer lasting. So, in that case, you already have that covered.
Now all you have to do is win her heart and let her see you in a different light.
And I’m going to talk all about it in my next article.
Are you in stuck in the friend zone?
Let’s continue the discussion over in the Gentlemen Within Private Facebook Community.
Looking forward to seeing you in there.