57 Reasons to Be A Modern-Day Gentleman (Top Experts Weigh In)22 min read

It’s not easy being a gentleman these days.

The following quote describes a gentleman perfectly.

“A man tries to make his mark and a gentleman strives to leave a mark. A man accepts a favor and a gentleman returns the favor. A man gives orders and a gentleman inspires. A man fits the mold and a gentleman tries to break the mold. The differences are many, but it all comes down to this: a man takes the necessary amount of steps and a gentleman takes the extra step.”

Simply put, a gentleman steps up.

As a man—there’s merit in striving to be a modern-day gentleman. It’s important to first ask yourself why it’s worth striving for. And once you figure that out, the doing becomes easy.

You’re not born a gentleman, rather you learn to become one over time. [Tweet this] I think it’s time to revive this lost art, and it begins with you.

I’m absolutely thrilled that a few dozen entrepreneurs, top experts and influencers, (55 to be exact) in disciplines ranging from men’s style & fashion, relationship & dating, fitness & health, life coaching, and an MBA student for good measure—kindly contributed to this article.

So if you need a reason or 57, let’s get this thing started. Without further ado…

57 Reasons to Be A Modern-Day Gentleman.

1. Antonio Centeno | Founder of Real Men Real Style

I initially got into the men’s style business because I saw opportunity.

As I spent more time in the business and started having success, I realized it was about being able to lead and inspire men to become the men they know themselves to be. [Tweet this]

I would have to say now, my reason for being a modern day gentlemen is to set the example for others so that they can be inspired. Specifically, I believe that my son and three daughters will look at my work and be proud of what their father has done 30 years from now.

2. Andy Snavely | Founder of Primer Magazine

Being a modern-day gentleman is important to me because it puts me in control. [Tweet this]

How you present yourself to the world with what you wear, how you carry yourself, treating others with respect, assuming a leadership role in all situations, determines how the rest of the world sees you and interacts with you.

By focusing on striving to be a modern gentleman I’m being the best possible version of myself no matter what I’m doing.

3. Raphael Schneider | Founder of Gentleman’s Gazette

Ultimately, you show respect to others, boost your own confidence and are seen as more competent and as a consequence you benefit from it in many ways. [Tweet this]

4. Shane Dutka | Founder of The Bowtie Guy

I want people across the room from me to be curious about me. I want there to be an initial curiosity so that opens up social channels to talk to them and get to know them. [Tweet this]

I am not going to persuade any man to believe what I believe or see the world the way I see it. I believe people should be given the facts and let them come to their own conclusions.

There’s history/style in being a gentleman. It gives me an avenue to be more creative to match up bow ties/pocket squares/socks/etc. A lot of men don’t get that in their day job (IT, Accounting, etc).

5. Megan Collins | Founder of Style Girlfriend

Striving to be a modern-day gentleman is certainly a good goal. It’s just as easy to be polite as it is to be rude, why not strive for the former? [Tweet this]

6. Brittany Hammonds | Editor at Style Girlfriend

Being a modern gentleman is so much more than just the clothing you wear. It’s about working towards being your best self in every aspect, whether that be style, relationship, travel, and career.

There’s nothing more captivating – and attractive – than a man that’s committed to improving his own life with intention. [Tweet this]

7. Gabi Meyers | Contributing Writer at Style Girlfriend

A man should strive to be a modern-day gentleman for his own self-worth – it’s so much easier to feel good about yourself when you look your best and are working toward being your best self. [Tweet this]

For the ladies – the amount of time and energy women put into even just one date is so immense, it’s nice to feel that that effort has been reciprocated.

8. Aaron Marino | Founder of I Am Alpha M

A man needs to strive for gent status because the world is watching! [Tweet this]

In today’s ULTRA competitive world, we need every advantage we can get. Being a gentleman is one way to CRUSH your competition in life!

9. Peter Marino | Founder of One Hour Drummer

I believe one of the best reasons to be a “modern-day gentlemen” is that the state of the world today and politics in particular, have become a pulpit for the crass, the obnoxious, the uninformed and the uneducated.

To me, the idea of being a gentleman is the hope of being better than the average [Tweet this], not only in fashion style but also in the way we carry ourselves as well as the way we interact with others.

If there’s EVER been a better reason to be a gentlemen, I don’t know what it is.

10. Brock McGoff | Founder of The Modest Man

Why not? What’s the alternative? I believe that you should do everything in your power to influence the things that you can control in life [Tweet this] – dressing well, staying fit, being kind to people, learning new things, etc.

A modern-day gent is always focused on improving himself and his station in life. He’s in the driver’s seat, not the passenger’s seat. A gentleman is focused on becoming the best version of himself and helping others do the same.

And the modern-day gent is rewarded for his behavior. He reaps the benefits that other men don’t have access to.

Just a small taste of these benefits (for example, how people treat you when you’re polite and well dressed) is reason enough to be a modern-day gent.

11. Rishi Chullani | Founder of The Dark Knot

When men are striving to be better gentlemen, it should focus on within. [Tweet this] Not to reach some societal norm of what a better gentleman is, but to develop awareness of ourselves, our actions and our reactions. From that we can see true growth.

If we then want to become more healthy, or dress more stylistically, it is because we see it as fulfilling to witness our own growth and because it feels good and empowering for us. Not to necessarily live up to any standard out there.

We can feel good when we dress better for those around us, but it should primarily come from within, because we enjoy it, because we are willing to step out of our comfort zone, etc. That is where true growth occurs, and not when we focus on the reactions of others.

12. Ryan Michler | Founder of Order of Man

The world is in need of Modern-Day Gentlemen more than ever. We see families falling apart, businesses going bankrupt, and communities collapsing in large part due to the lack of strong, responsible, resolute men.

Our families, our businesses, our communities, and our countries are counting on us to return to our roots of masculinity. [Tweet this] A Modern-Day Gentleman is a man who lives his life with honor, integrity, courage, commitment, compassion, and strength. When we, as men, return to these virtues we can and will restore hope and a future for this planet.

13. Justin Stenstrom | Founder of Elite Man Magazine

A man should strive to be a modern-day gentleman to set the right example for every other man and boy out there who looks for role models. We all look to one another for guidance.

Be a true gentleman and give the right guidance to all the younger boys or men who want to know how a man should act in life.

Be bold but respectful. Confident but humble. Ambitious but honest. And wise but open-minded. [Tweet this]

14. Ted Ryce | Founder of Legendary Life Media

The best reason to strive to be a modern-day gentleman is that we’re living in a time where being a high-performance man is no longer a luxury. It’s a necessity to survive and thrive in this modern age of stress and rapid change. [Tweet this]

Of course it’s an exciting time to be alive but being a modern gentleman is a way to be at our best, to manage stress and take advantage of all the exciting opportunities without getting burnt out.

15. Kyle Ingham | Founder of The Distilled Man

The most rewarding thing about striving to be a gentleman?

It not only makes you better, but it makes others better as well. When you try to be your best self, others become inspired to be their best selves as well. [Tweet this]

So, while you gain the satisfaction of improving yourself, you also gain the respect and camaraderie of like-minded men around you.

16. Chiara Mazzucco | Founder of Bold Self

The one reason for a man to strive to be a modern-day gentleman is the mere fact that he’s setting the strongest foundation possible for the relationships in his life.

Values add to character, and when genuine character defines a man, he paves the path for a genuine life. [Tweet this]

17. Ozeal Debastos | Founder of Think Ozeal

I believe we’re yearning to be connected again with our sense of masculinity. [Tweet this]

To embrace our individuality through fashion, self-development, and all the lost virtues that represent the gentleman. Integrity. Passion. Style. Chivalry.

18. Kris Wolfe | Founder of Good Guy Swag

Being a gentleman is more than just putting your best foot forward. Being a gentleman is about reaching your full potential as a man. [Tweet this]

19. Nate Lewis | Founder of Iron & Tweed

We live in a time when nearly every aspect of life is becoming more relaxed and dumbed down. Jeans are acceptable in many offices, written communication rarely contains complete sentences, and an unearned sense of entitlement is more common than hearing a simple “thank you.”

While none of this is inherently evil, I think It’s important for a modern man to set himself apart from the herd by paying homage to our forefathers.

Simply practicing traditional values in areas such as clothing and manners can set you far ahead of the pack. [Tweet this]

20. Rachel Russo | Founder of Rachel Russo Relationships

A man should strive to be a modern-day gentleman if he is looking for a successful long-term relationship or marriage.

Contrary to popular belief, women don’t really want bad boys—not for marriage anyway. [Tweet this] And not healthy, relationship-oriented women!

My eleven years experience as a matchmaker and dating & relationship coach in NYC has taught me that women want gentleman. Chivalry is not dead!

21. David de las Morenas | Founder of How To Beast

Far too many guys get lost in the day-to-day grind of going to work and then just bullsh*tting around the rest of their lives. [Tweet this]

When you forget to consciously choose how you invest your time, you ultimately sacrifice your long-term happiness in favor of short-term laziness.

You avoid doing things like working out, reading, traveling, and actually improving your quality of life. And instead you succumb to your desire for short-term comforts like food, alcohol, and video games. Is this really the life you want?

22. Jared Osborne | Founder of Embodying Man

Real personal power comes when a man is able to be true to that which is gentle within – to be respectful, caring, insightful within and without. [Tweet this]

Action comes from stillness. Yang from Yin. There is an authority in a man who is able to be a gentleman. This man can strike with a potency not available to a man not gentle.

23. David Ferree | Co-Founder of Anson Belt & Buckle Co.

In our ever evolving society a true “gentleman” is something that is becoming harder and harder to find.

I think it’s important for someone to strive to be a modern-day gentleman because it carries on a tradition of values in men that goes back generations. Without these values, etiquette and manners being passed along to our younger generations we will digress as a society.

There’s just not enough true gentlemen out there. It’s a lost art almost. [Tweet this] It’s vital that people like yourself continue to educate our younger generations about how to BE a true gentleman and not just act like one sometimes.

24. Carl Murawski | Founder of New England Style Consulting

I think being a modern gentleman is evolutionary. Beyond our base desires and biological makeup is a nobler existence, provided that we are willing to put in the work. [Tweet this]

25. Claudia Cox | Founder of Text Weapon

The modern gentleman is one who is thoughtful of a woman’s needs while respecting her own strength and independence.

When you hold yourself to a high standard in your values, morality and integrity, you not only set an example for those around you but distinguish yourself as trustworthy, honorable and reputable.

All of these traits make you more attractive to those around you…and to yourself – meaning you actually admire and respect the man you see in the mirror.

These days, it’s easy to lose yourself as part of the crowd – instead, stand out for upholding genuine, timeless class. [Tweet this]

26. Trevor Wilkes | Founder of Know Expert

Over time you grow into a self-respecting person and even have a little self admiration. [Tweet this] You can learn to love yourself by knowing that you’re taking the time to do things only few do consistently.

27. Vasilis Stefanou | Founder of The Life Upgrades

Being a modern-day gentleman is lost art in our days. If a man wants to be the best version of himself in this era then it is one of the steps he has to take. [Tweet this]

28. Justin Woo | Founder of The Fundamental Man

To get the most out of life. Why do we go to school? Why do we work? Why do we have a family. It’s all to enjoy life to the very best. [Tweet this]

29. Rosalee Laws | Founder of Rosalee Laws Company

Becoming a gentleman is first about learning from the mistakes of your youth. [Tweet this]

A gentleman is a man who understands the value of another. Compassionate, thoughtful, anchored, and humble. He is a protector and provider to those he loves and an outward facing light to the world itself.

The reason a man should strive to be a modern gentleman is, so he can be become all the things previously mentioned, a hero to his daughter or nieces, and because being a true gentleman never goes out of fashion.

30. Luis Tavel | Founder of Essential Image

The vast majority of men today are nothing like men used to be years ago, like Frank Sinatra or Johnny Carson and the like. The best reason for a man to be a modern-day gentleman is because doing so makes it really easy to stick out from the bunch in a good way. [Tweet this]

31. Sarah Jones | Founder of Introverted Alpha

A modern-day gentleman is a man who has presence, comfort in his own skin, awareness of how he comes across, and a deep abiding sense of integrity. [Tweet this]

He holds complete and total respect for women and may even consider himself a feminist, while also immensely enjoying the purposeful and generous feeling of taking the lead in a masculine way as often as feels natural.

He feels invigorated by being bold and decisive about going after what he wants in a mutually beneficial way, creating win-wins wherever he goes.

Because of his comfort in his own skin and his trust in his integrity, he is not shy to tell a woman she looks beautiful. He understands that such a compliment is not sexist or weird, but warmly welcome by warm and welcoming women.

32. Travis White | Founder of Unkept Gentleman

It’s humbling. We live in a society that is saturated with selfishness. It’s in ourselves and others. In fact, I would argue that it’s the default mindset for many people. It takes work to be selfless.

When you put effort into acting like a gentleman you condition your mind to begin to help others. Whether it’s opening the door for someone, practicing manners at a guest’s dinner, or offering your coat.

It takes the mind away from helping yourself to serving others. [Tweet this]

33. Barron Cuadro | Founder of Effortless Gent

Being a gentleman encompasses many traits. Among them, chivalry, self-awareness, refinement, and subtlety are my favorites.

Striving to be any of those things—more self-aware, more kind to others, refined, subtle and humble—is always a worthy endeavor, and the pursuit of being a better person should be reason enough. [Tweet this]

34. Dan Trepanier | Founder of Articles of Style

Generally I believe that clothing is a conduit and precursor to behavior. [Tweet this]

Dressing like a gentleman encourages a man to stand tall, carry himself with respect and treat others with dignity – and inspire others to do the same – and that’s what really matters.

Taking the time to dress with respect is a symbol of values…that’s what I love about tailoring – the history, and the connection to the values of the past.

35. Guillaume Bo | Founder of Men Need More Style

In these times of craziness, consumerism, obsession of money, I’d rather believe that we, Gentlemen, have been trying to be more into…time, patience, culture…and education. [Tweet this]

It’s not easy. But it’s worth it.

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36. Tanner Guzy | Founder of Masculine Style

I believe it’s important for guys to strive to be a modern-day gentleman because it represents an ideal worth striving for.

Too many guys are content with never challenging themselves, or they think they should be masculine without being refined, or that they should be polite without having to be masculine.

All of these fall short of the ideal that men are capable of, and working towards ideals is what leads to greatness. [Tweet this]

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37. Sal Mariano | Founder of Grow Your Hustle

In today’s world, the word “gentleman” is a great sleeper, in that it defines a height of manhood that is not achieved with ease. A modern-day gentleman takes his day-to-day life and does more, lives more, respects more. [Tweet this]

He knows that just “doing what he has to” is not enough to fulfill the life of a gentleman. A modern-day gentleman takes a higher level of living, that of which beliefs of truth, honor, respect, and justice play a significant role in their life.

The modern-day gentleman is not to be toyed with; emotional intelligence is a force to be reckoned with. A reason to strive to be a modern-day gentleman is simple.

The reason is to be different, break free from the stagnant bullsh*t life of not caring, not doing. Transparency of one connected to their heart shows real guts; a true gentleman is rewarded for this effort.

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38. Melissa Alam | Founder of Femme & Fortune

Because a modern-day gentleman is so hard to find and such a minority right now. [Tweet this] Stand out against the rest of the men out there and show the ladies that chivalry, style and manners are not dead!

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39. Grant Harris | Founder of Image Granted

A man should strive to be the best version of himself daily to commemorate those who came before him and to set an example for those who come after. [Tweet this]

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40. Eddy Baller | Founder of Conquer & Win

A modern-day gentleman doesn’t kiss anyone’s ass. He’s not a doormat for women or a white-knight. [Tweet this]

A modern-day gentleman is a man who holds his own, has social skills and knows what courtesy is, but he’s also a leader and has boundaries which no one can cross.

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41. Mark Asuncion | Founder of  Moods By Mark

A modern-day gentleman cares for others, is honest, and dresses well. [Tweet this] Being a modern-day gentleman gives you a higher level of value and respect that you can’t get anywhere else.

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42. The Apes | Founders of Ape Is Dapper

Being a “gentleman” doesn’t mean to simply dress better.

We like to think of it as being a “gentlesapien”.  It’s the idea that being a “gentleman” isn’t reserved simply for men. It doesn’t matter if you identify as man, woman, ape, or whatever you’re comfortable as. [Tweet this]

Anyone can have a strong style, confidence, and demeanor. Strive for it because it’s self-respect and because it’s respect for others.

Stay epic, humans.

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43. Elisa Popescu | Founder of The Shameless Academy

What is one reason for a man to strive to be a modern-day gentleman?

Because it builds his character. 

I love that you used the word strive, Khoi. That is exactly what being a true gentleman requires : discipline. Constant training of the mind.

Nobody said it`d be easy…but it`s worth the price. Just as Jim Rohn said, it`s not what you gain, but who you become in the process. Those who think that following an etiquette, that being kind, being attentive, watching the way you dress, the way you walk, the way you talk, comes easy and naturally, must think twice.

Only practice makes perfect in every area of our lives. I`m a big believer that all we give to others we give to ourselves, that the relationship we have with others is a reflection of our own inner life.

Being a gentleman is a synonym for gentle strength. [Tweet this]

Either it shows up in the way he dresses, he carries himself or the way he interacts, in times like this, when so many women lose their femininity in the fight for everyday survival, a modern-day gentleman brings back a dash of timeless wisdom and a special kind of strength, in every woman`s life.

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44. Meharvan Singh | M.B.A. Student at Cal State University

There just don’t seem to be many of those around these days. There seems to be a dearth of good-values in people in general nowadays.

That’s where I feel the whole concept of being a modern-day gentleman comes into play. I really want to lead by example and look to practice myself first what I preach to others. [Tweet this]

That for me is the main motivation for being a modern-day gentleman – to be the best person, period.

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45. James Preece | Founder of The Dating Guru

A man should always strive to be a modern-day gentleman because it’s exactly what women want them to be. A modern-day gentleman is a true alpha male – respectful, well-groomed and confident. [Tweet this]

These are the key things women find attractive and are looking for in a partner.  A man should always try to present the best version of himself.

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46. Laura Yates | Founder of Laura Yates & The Bounce Back

A man should strive to be a modern-day gentleman because this isn’t something that is defined by a sharp haircut, a perfectly tailored suit or immaculate sense of style or even charm. [Tweet this]

I believe it’s a man who knows himself, takes responsibility for his actions, is constantly working to be his best self for himself and for others and is humble.

47. Heather MacKenzie | Founder of Luxe Specialty

Men should strive to be modern-day gentlemen because they owe it to themselves to be the best possible version of themselves they could be. [Tweet this]

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48. Christien Gerrick | Founder of Sheddin

Dare to be bold and different.

The modern-day gentleman isn’t necessarily a passive person. They are a respectful rare breed of an individual that boldly commands the attention of a room even when they aren’t asking for it. [Tweet this]

Be proud and embrace your uniqueness, strive to do this and you’re well on your way.

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49. Shaun Moniz | Founder of Island Gentry

Being a modern-day gentleman means living a life with purpose. [Tweet this]

In my opinion, a modern gent is a man who is focused on self-development in all aspects of his life and has a deep understanding and appreciation for what his purpose is in life.

This gives him a sense of value and self-worth that allows him to be truly happy with who he is and the life that he lives.

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50. Jocelyn Murphy | Showroom Manager at Indochino

I believe that, with time, the modern-day gentlemen aspect has slowly declined. Men did not like the idea that being a gentlemen required effort and patience; but slowly it began to change.

2016 has begun a movement of men’s fashion; how it can be not only modern but also timeless.

The way a man dresses affects his surroundings; it attracts the company you want to receive and it shows respect and exertion to the way he wants the world to see himself. “In a world full of boys, be a man” [Tweet this]

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51. Mike Campbell | Founder of Mike Campbell (MC²)

For me, being a gentleman; whether it be by some textbook definition, or a man’s own meaning of simply being a good man, is all about respect.

For a man and his own self-respect this is about a code and value set by which to live with integrity. [Tweet this] This then goes for his interactions with others and behavior in the world outside of himself.

Essentially, respect for self, for others and the world around him. All of this in turn shows the world how to treat you; with respect.

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52. Stephan Duquesnoy | Founder of Well Dressed

I always felt that at the core of being a gentleman is being a gentle man. Especially in the rather harsh world we live in, striving to add a sense of gentleness to the world around us is a goal worth pursuing.

The beauty here is that “gentle” has such a broad definition. It can be how a gentleman dresses and uses the art of aesthetics to enhance the visual space around him. It can be how a gentleman interacts with those around him, embracing the art of charm to inspire and bring warmth to his surroundings. And lastly, it can be how a gentleman deals with problems, by tackling them with control, knowledge and consideration for the circumstances.

To make it very short, a gentleman is defined by the world he creates around him. [Tweet this] And for me that means striving to make my small corner of the world beautiful for those in it.

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53. Ian Riley | Founder of Fit Man Style

I believe it’s a man’s responsibility to be a role model to the younger generation. [Tweet this] Children will be what they see.

If a man can show a young boy how to dress, how to treat others, how to speak properly, how to have decorum and shows a young girl what she should expect from a man, I believe the generation will grow, live and contribute in a society that makes respect of human dignity the north star.

Of course the stakes get higher if they are our own kids but if we truly want to embrace the idea that “it takes a village to raise a child” then every kid is our kid.

54. Kyle Boureston | Founder of Mantelligence

When you’re 80 years old, sitting on your rocking chair and reflecting on your life, do you want to look back and realize “I never reached my full potential…I could have done better”?

Or do you want to think, “I was the absolute best man (gentleman, husband, brother, father, etc.) that I could have been?”

It’s an easy answer, right? Strive to be a modern-day gentleman…it’s a sin to waste the potential of who you might become. [Tweet this]

55. Sarah Williams | Editor at Wingman Magazine

In the age when“Netflix and Chill” and “Swiping Right/Left” creates love, a man who can behave well, and want to apply chivalry rules will stand out in a positive way.

Respect is never outdated and good manners are like a style, better overdress than underdress. [Tweet this] You can be the most handsome man, but if you cannot behave well a mature woman with high self-esteem would not find such a man attractive.

Inviting her for a coffee, opening the doors, helping her if she is carrying something heavy, picking her from her home, bringing wine and chocolate when you are visiting her and other gentleman traits won’t make you seem cheesy. Opposite! These will be these little steps to win her heart.

56. Julian Hayes | Founder of The Art of Fitness & Life

Being a gentleman, especially in today’s time, makes you stand out and rise above the average man whose lost his core values. Thinking of a gentleman as someone who simply pays for the woman’s dinner and opens her door is not even half the story of what a gentleman consists of.

A modern-day gentleman is held to the highest standard and is driven to grow each day as a man. He is honest and never misleading. The modern-day gentleman is driven and that passion is contagious to those around him. He treats women with respect but isn’t a push-over. He takes care of his health first and foremost, because he realizes without doing this, he won’t show up to his fullest potential.

Most importantly, the modern-day gentleman is all about self-awareness and consideration for those around him.

57. Brian Sacawa | Founder of He Spoke Style

Being a modern day gentleman is all about respect. By putting thought, time and effort into dressing well, you are respecting yourself and your potential to achieve your goals. But also, dressing well is also a way of showing respect to others, particularly those who you are not already acquainted with.

I want to note that dressing well is just one element of a modern day gentleman’s “code”. There are many other aspects – being punctual, for one – that contribute to that overall sense of dignity and respect

Whew, what a list! 57 for good measure.

I hope this article can serve as a reminder and inspiration to consciously be aware of how we present ourselves, how we behave and ultimately, how we live our lives.

It’s not always easy, but it’s noble, striving to be a modern-day gentleman. Now, more than ever, the world needs gentlemen who care enough to make a positive difference in the way that they dress, act and live.

There’s a gentleman within each and every one of us. And though we may fail at times, it’s clear that striving to be a gentleman is always worth it.

One final thing. I want to give a HUGE shoutout and THANKS to everyone who took the time in contributing, to create this wonderful piece of content. Your thoughtfulness does not go unnoticed.

Now tell me, what is your reason for striving to be a gentleman?